photo beingcryst2-22.jpg
Showing posts with label mummyhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mummyhood. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Yes, I've decided..

To combine!

In fact I've just revamp Cayden's blog about 2 weeks ago, but nevermind la... For now I shall concentrate with Being Cryst - the new chapter :)

Cayden is finally rolling over! Well, still struggling a lil bit, all thanks to his weight! He weights 9.1kg two weeks back, overweight, the gynae said. Haha!

He's able to hold his head up high for a few seconds, before this happens...


Hahaha!!! Such a bad mother I am! ;)


He grows very very fast these few weeks. I can feel his look is changing everyday despite being with him 24/7. His hair is growing really fast too.


Cayden blabbers a lot. And he shrieks like a girl sometimes! He giggles non-stop the moment he sees his own reflection in the mirror. I love biting and give him a long kiss on his cheeks. When he's in the mood, he'll go "a-goooooooooooooo...~" but when he's upset, he'll cry and scream even louder.





Ah, the joy of parenting! ;)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

MIA but still very much alive..

And BUSY!

All my time are so occupied nowadays. Personal time? No, I don't have any.


Baby Cayden is turning 10 weeks tomorrow! He has grown so much within these few weeks! He now weights 6kg and Dr Lee (pediatrician) commented he's a big baby, but not overweight. He has outgrown so many little rompers and hand-me-downs from his cousin brothers.


He's also such a chatterbox. He ah-goo so much when he's in the mood, especially in the morning. He can also laugh now when I play with him. So cute.

He now wakes up for feed only once at night, and I have more peaceful sleep. He still drinks 4oz formula, at every 2 hours. I tried increasing to 5oz the other day but he still wants milk every 2 hours, thus I'm back to 4oz.

He can now bring his hand to his mouth and suck on his thumb - so loudly! Also, this week he has also discovered his own hand. He can spend a long time lying there staring at his hand as if it's the most amazing toy on earth.

He loves his cot mobile. He keeps smiling and cooing at the bunny, donkey and chicken on the mobile each time I turned it on. But he still co-sleep with us. The baby cot is just for decoration. Ah well...

I've started on a blog for him the other day as I didn't want this blog to turn to baby diary. Am updating his blog on daily basis and at the same time, I hope I can still find time to maintain this blog.


I can stare at him everyday at all time and still feeling awesome.

I have a son. My son is growing and happy.


And I am indeed a mom!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Cayden at 6 weeks

For the past few days, I'm a monster mom.

Baby Cayden cried all day, and hardly nap in the afternoon. He made big fuss in the evening before bedtime. The entire household was expecting me, the mummy, to have a miracle touch. He kept crying till he's breathless, chocked and continued crying again. His face turned color. Purplish red. And it freaked me out.

I was so lost. I felt I'm not connected to him. I felt he didn't like me. Day ended with tears. I was seriously tired, exhausted. I didn't know what to do. It breaks my heart looking at him crying, it seemed like he's in so much pain. I tried applying ointment on his tum tum. Even asked Kak Mas (postnatal urut lady) to massage for him.

We tried our best to calm him down. I resorted to put him into sarong, although I was reluctant to at first. Each time he's finally asleep in our arms, the moment we put him down, he's awake and started fussing again.

And the cycle repeats for a few days.

I almost gave up.

Yesterday morning, Cayden made a very big fuss. He kept crying for a few hours. Stopped and cried again. His cry was so loud and scary. His face turned colour. It was raining cats and dogs outside. My MIL wasn't at home. My hubby and I rocked, swayed and sing to him in turn. He didn't stop crying.

Finally, we decided to brave the rain and paid Dr Lee, the pediatrician a visit.

Apparently, Cayden is all fine. He advised us to feed him on demand since he's hitting growth spurt. And by the way, Cayden weights 5.4kg now and Dr Lee commented he's growing fast.

Thus, we feed him each time he roots for milk. Which means, like almost every hour plus to two hour. He's taking 4oz Enfalac A+ formula now. He's finally behaving and started taking his afternoon nap.

He's a good boy when his tummy is full. I feed him before sponging and he'll go 'ang gu' and followed by a smile ;)

Motherhood is seriously a demanding 24/7 job. There're ups and downs. I felt like a bad mother when I abandoned him when he kept fussing few days back. I couldn't give him all the love and attention. I was very very exhausted. I did a lot of reading and research from the internet. I went into forums and read about other moms' experiences.

Slowly I regained my sanity and able to shower my son with love again.

There are so much to learn and I'm taking babystep, one at a time. I know I'll be able to handle this, 'cause I'm still very much in love with him.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

A full time job...


REALLY.

Ever since my mum and the confinement lady went back, I was taking care of baby Cayden all the time.

Speaking of confinement, I'm actually missing my confinement period already. I know it's a rare statement, nobody likes confinement, especially the not-washing-hair part. I hated it too, but I really miss the memories I had.

In fact, I shifted out from my in law's place and we rented a unit in service apartment for a month due to space constraint as my mum was down in Kuantan to help and we hired a confinement lady. I'm missing all the time spent in the apartment already, having all my meals and laundry taken care of. Being a new mum and being a little girl under my mum's care again.. it definitely feels awesome.

And I miss my baby Cayden when he was so little. Sometimes I secretly wish I could keep him little forever...


I used to 'sell' my extra time to my friends who claimed they worked too hard and need more time a day. Now, please give me back. I need 48 hours a day.

I still can't believe I'm a mum now. And there's another person sharing our lives and sharing our room and everything! Been busy taking care of him from day to night and night to day.. never ending.


Sleep, feed, poo, bath, play... and the cycle goes on and on..

I wished I have more time for myself sometimes. Nowadays I'm always clad in my PJs and spend all day taking care of Cayden.

Sometimes I felt like I'm losing myself, felt like I'm losing my sanity when he keep fussing.


But sometimes I'm enjoying motherhood to bits, especially when he's behaving well.


Cayden had been fighting sleep lately, and demand to feed like almost every hour. I guess it must be the gas in his tummy. I tried to drag the feeding time to 3 hours, which resulting in him crying out so badly. He's taking 4oz formula now. I stopped breastfeeding him 2 weeks back, which I'm sorta regretting already. Ah well, it's too late. He started with S26 formula but had hard poo-poo. We consulted the pediatrician, according to him S26 is more heaty and he recommended Snow. We switched to Anmum before giving Snow a try and apparently, the situation worsened. In the end, we switched to Snow and hello nice poo-poo!! ;)

I'm regretting for not keeping track of his development for the past one month. Been trying to adjust to new life and taking up the new responsibility. There are so much to blog, but I just couldn't find the time to.

Despise being dead tired - physically, mentally, emotionally.. I'm still glad that baby Cayden is here sharing my life.

Always my baby... ;)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Baby Cayden is now 25 days!

Time really flies... I remember spending days with my gigantic belly and all the blind visits to the gynae anticipating for bunny's arrival. In a blink of time, 25 days has passed and we'll be having a simple fullmoon party at home this coming Sunday.

And I'm so over with my confinement period! Ah well, many suggested to have confinement for 40 days.. so 40 days it shall be!

I'm loving all the time spent with baby Cayden now. I still need help with handling this tiny human but I have confident of being a good mummy ;) I've been co-sleeping with Cayden for a week now and we're doing good. Been practicing bathing for him, err..well... I would say practice makes perfect! Haha! And I'm enjoying every moment breastfeeding him.. I love every special bonding time I have with him.

I'm entering another phase of life now and there are so much to learn, so much to love! ;)

Saturday, October 22, 2011

The birth story

After the false labor on Wednesday (5.10.11), I was told to go back home and wait for contraction. But on Saturday (8.10.11) morning, exactly on my due date, the brownish discharge turned bright red and off I went to visit Dr Goh again. But again, I was told no sign of him coming yet...

I was tad dissapointed that I'm still pregnant and concluded I'll be pregnant for the rest of my life.

Surprisingly, my second sister and her family made a surprise visit to Kuantan that afternoon itself. Spent the day with them in Hyatt together with my mum. It was drizzling the whole day so we just hangout in the room.

At around 3 something in the afternoon, I felt slight discomfort in my abdomen. It's like mild period cramp that comes and goes away. Was it labor contraction?? My mum and sis were so sure that baby's coming in a day or two. But I'm still unsure after so many blind visits to the gynae.

At 5 something in the afternoon, I started to track my contraction using the Babybump application in my iPhone. They come every 20 minutes, and then every 10 minutes... I casually mentioned it to the hubby and my family and everyone was on standby mode. The contraction didn't hurt at all. Just like the cramp I usually had one to two days before my period.

The entire night, the contraction came every 8-9 minutes. I started to gather all my things and ready to go. I tried watching DVD but couldn't concentrate at all. I'm quite sure bunny is coming anytime. I remembered that I should be checking in the hospital only when I had regular contraction every 3-5 minutes. So I tried to sleep, but failed.

At around 2am, the contraction started to hurt and came every 3-4 minutes. I went to the kitchen and had some bread and milo and told the hubby that we should be getting to the hospital.

Upon reaching the hospital, again I was being offered wheelchair but this time, I knew I needed it. I was wheeled to a quad-sharing room and the nurse hooked me to the ECG machine to monitor the baby's heartbeat and contraction.



Dr Goh arrived shortly and did internal examination to determine how far my cervix had dilated.

2cm.

"This time it's real!" he said jokingly.

Then I was being transferred to single room, which I had the chance to take one last shot of my preggie look, haha!

I was asked to try sleeping through the night. But the contraction started to hurt and I couldn't sleep at all. I was being offered an injection to make me drowsy.

After a few hours, I woke up to a strong contraction. It lasted for a while and then "POP!!".. I felt water gushing down. Has my water broken?? The hubby called in the nurse and she confirmed that my water has broken. I couldn't sleep after that as the contraction was getting more and more painful. I asked for another injection but was told that I shouldn't be getting the injection that frequent.

So I tried to sleep in pain..

The moment after my water has broken, everything felt like a dream. Bad dream. I didn't keep track on the time but I knew nurses kept coming in to check on my contraction, my blood pressure and temperature. Then Dr Goh came in a few times to see how far my cervix had dilated. 3cm. Then a few hours after that 6cm.

I was being transferred to the labor room. The contraction hurts so much. I usually had real bad period cramp but this was worse.


Then my mum came with my MIL and I knew it was already morning. According to the hubby, I was being transferred to the labor room at about 11am. I wasn't really aware of my surrounding as I was focusing on my contraction. Breathe in with your nose, breathe out with your mouth..the nurse kept telling me. I held my hubby's hand tightly and he was by my side all time.

Dr Goh then did internal examination again and I was told I'm fully dilated. I had my eyes closed all time. Occasionally when I opened my eyes, I could see Dr Goh and 2-3 nurses busy walking around. I was hooked on to the oxygen tank and glucose drip. I concentrate with my breathing. The contraction hurt so much that I felt like doing a BIG poo-poo. I told my hubby I'm in need to pass motion, in which he casually mentioned it to the gynae. Dr Goh told me to go ahead and pass my poo-poo.. Half consciously, I just listen to him and PUSH.

The friendly nurse next to me kept stroking my tummy and chatted with me. I smiled at her when my contraction went away and I could hear her saying "Amboi... boleh senyum lagi..." Each contraction was getting more and more painful and I pushed with all my might. Then, I heard Dr Goh saying if the baby's not out with the next two more contraction, I'll be transferred into the operation room for emergency caesarean.

I wasn't really aware with what happened after that but I knew I kept pushing when I had contraction. Then I heard Dr Goh saying he's gonna help the baby out. He showed me the vacuum extractor and told me not to worry as the extractor is really soft. I kept pushing with each contraction. The hubby held my hand tight and I could hear him saying prayers next to my ear.

I made another push and I could feel something warm coming out and I felt a great sense of relieved after that. Within seconds, I heard loud cry and the nurse put the baby on my chest. He was covered with blood and vernix. He cried so loudly and I softly touched his cheek.


God, is this my son? It seems like magic to me.

They removed him shortly to be cleaned up and Dr Goh continued with the stitches that hurt goddamn much. I was in labor for 2 hours. I had episiotomy. I can't believe I gave birth to a little boy. I still can't believe I did it. It was a painful experience but worth it all when I carry bunny in my arms.


He is beautiful.

Baby Cayden Tan was born on 9th Oct 2011 weighing 3.26kg ;)

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Harlow world!

Bunny says "HI!" ;)

He is quite punctual, making his appearance on the 9.10.11 at 1:02pm, 1 day overdue. I fell in love the moment I saw him.. birth story up soon!